Ninjas Prefer 'Our' Lives

hey, since we rather be ninjas...
i'm sure the naruto cast would like to kick back and be normal people sometimes.

For Those Who Can't Read Clearly:

...and on today's ninja news,
Orochimaru has taken over konohagakura
by the help of his millions of his minions and the
two leaf traitors kabuto and the
last of the uchiha clan, uchiha
sasuke. by the looks of it, they
have successfully caused mayhem
and bloodshed everywhere.

they have rampaged through homes,
slaughter hundreds of leaf residents.
there is even cannibalism and
thousands of dollars of broken property
...on further news, the akatsuki
organization has also taken over half
of the five countries, contemplating on
their movements, they're all looking for
more human-demon vessels like the
shukaku in the kazekage gaara, who was
later assassinated by a rapid squirrel.

horrible tragic events has taken place
within the walls of the once great
konohagakure. the once great heroes
have died in the most hideous ways, but
were reported to have died with honor
and shinobi pride. but who will rescue us?
who will save us now? will the world
as we know it perish in the flames?
Who will save us?

who...who...
of course, if you're Uzumaki Naruto...
and you're watching this broadcast...
...we're all telling you to save us.